It should be mandatory

I've been back to work for 2 weeks now and it's been quite a change. Not seeing Kai all day is tough, especially when I see photos of AJ and him playing at the park. It's also hard not to be able to make whatever I want for lunch, go for walks in the beautiful weather and run errands during the day. But it's also nice to be back to work - to see my friends, get paid for something I feel like I'm really good at and go to the bathroom whenever I want without having to leave the door open.

Before we even had Kai, AJ and I decided that I would take a shortened maternity leave so that he could take 2 months off for his own parental leave. I thought it would be a good way for AJ to bond with the baby since I would get a lot of automatic bonding opportunities - you know, like giving birth to him, and nursing him. And all of those things have happened. AJ has grown even more comfortable with Kai and confident in caring for him.

But that's not the best part.

The best part is the understanding and insight that AJ has gained into the last 10 months of my life. I know that he recognized the difficulty I had with nursing and the lack of sleep for the first few weeks, but I don't think he understood what I did with the rest of my time. He was kind to me, but I know that he was wondering what the heck I did with my day. Why didn't I go outside more, why hadn't I showered and didn't I just watch a lot of stuff on the PVR? And I can't really blame him, because how could he understand?

But now he does.

The other day he had to shower, mow the lawn and make baby food, plus all the regular feeding, changing, playing and chasing. He sent me a note in the middle of the afternoon saying how tough is day was and how he couldn't get anything done. And that he now appreciated what I had been doing all those days at home.

Win.

And that's why I think Parental Leave for fathers should be mandatory. At least for a few weeks.